Living a life surrounded by lustful things is not a choice or an option that I or any of us opted for. We are helpless, its more like a compulsion, a compulsion to strive for a better life, to achieve dreams, to live by our hopes and most importantly to stay in the fashion race.
But how long a list is too long?
Because mine refuses to end!
From finding a boy to getting the perfect little black dress, from working in a magazine to finding the matching lip shade for myself, from travelling the world to having a pet panda, etc , etc, etc; everyday it keeps adding on and on and on.
But again, how long a list is too long?
I have a fear of being judged by every single soul that crosses my path, even the 1-year-old little champ I saw staring at me in the metro today. I wondered, what must be going on in his little mind?
Does he think am ugly since he’s not smiling at me? Or does he think am too weird because am staring back at him? Or maybe he thinks am just stupid that am wearing white strappy footwear from some random online store with my favourite acid washed jeans. (Damn, I should have worn the black ones)
What is he thinking?
HOW DOES THAT MATTER?
Why am I talking about this here?
Well, because his approval is also on my lust list.
WHY? I WISH I KNEW.
Do I want to punch people in the face? Yes. Is that also a part of my lust list? Of course.
There are times where I am looking at a Chanel bag in a mall with my lustful eyes, hoping to make it mine someday, or a beautiful pair of heels from Dune, or even a Calvin Klein bra, actually, these days, mostly am admiring how jaw dropping Kendall Jenner looks in the new CK ad, anyway the point is I AM A VERY LUSTFUL PERSON, I have a lustful eye for everything that catches my sight, my heart pops out like in those phone emoticons we have these days, even if it is a local 300Rs fake Rado watch. Oh, but my pocket Money got over? No problem, i’ll write it down in my long lust list and forget about it until 2 am on some random night after two or four long years, when my brain would suddenly decide to recall all the things I didn’t buy. Not that I am complaining.
But, I wonder sometimes how often should a person revise his or her lust list? Or how do we know if what we are lusting for is actually worth lusting? Wow, does this even make sense?
Current status: 50, 000 stars on my lust list.
Keywords: Love, Fashion, Beauty, Entertainment, Panda.
Last Added: Mascara (for the tenth time)
Life is too short. We keep forgetting that. Life is to be lived. We keep forgetting that too. I have a long lust list, a never-ending one, am sure all of us do but, is it helping us to be closer to our dreams and aspirations by making us work for a better future or is it taking away our present?
The question remains, how long a list is too long?